Korean does not have one way to say a sentence. It has several, and which one you choose says something about your relationship with the listener before the content of the sentence arrives.
This sounds intimidating and mostly is not, because in practice you need three.
The three that matter
해요체 — polite, everyday
어디 가요? · 감사합니다 · 밥 먹었어요?
This is the default. Shops, restaurants, taxis, colleagues, strangers, older people you are not close to. If you learn only one level, learn this one. It is polite without being stiff and works in almost every situation a visitor encounters.
Endings: -아요 / -어요 / -예요
합니다체 — formal
어디 가십니까? · 감사합니다 · 안전선 밖으로 물러서 주십시오
Announcements, news broadcasts, business presentations, the military, customer service. It sounds formal and slightly distant, which is exactly the point.
You will hear this constantly in public spaces and rarely need to produce it.
Endings: -습니다 / -ㅂ니다 / -습니까
반말 — casual
어디 가? · 고마워 · 밥 먹었어?
Close friends, people clearly younger, family, and children. Using it with the wrong person is the one mistake that actually causes offence.
Endings: -아 / -어 / plain forms
The same sentence, three ways
| Level | "Did you eat?" |
|---|---|
| 합니다체 | 식사하셨습니까? |
| 해요체 | 밥 먹었어요? |
| 반말 | 밥 먹었어? |
Notice that 해요체 and 반말 differ by one syllable. 요 is doing most of the work — attaching it to a casual form makes it polite.
The rule for beginners
Use 해요체 with everyone until told otherwise.
Being slightly too polite is invisible. Being too casual is not. Nobody has ever been offended by 해요체.
How people switch to 반말
Koreans do not drift into casual speech. They negotiate it, usually explicitly.
- 말 놓으세요. — Please speak casually to me.
- 편하게 말해요. — Let's speak comfortably.
- 말 놔도 돼요? — Can I speak casually?
The older or higher-status person usually offers first. Once it is agreed, both switch.
As a foreigner, wait to be invited. If someone speaks 반말 to you, that does not automatically mean you should speak it back — an older person may use it with you while still expecting 해요체 in return.
Honorifics are a separate axis
This is worth separating clearly, because it trips people up.
Speech level is about your relationship with the listener.
Honorifics are about respect for the person you are talking about — added with 시 and special vocabulary.
선생님이 오세요. — The teacher is coming. (honorific 오시다) 할머니께서 주무세요. — Grandmother is sleeping. (honorific 주무시다)
So you can speak casually to a friend while using honorifics about their father. The two systems are independent.
A few honorific verbs worth recognising:
| Plain | Honorific |
|---|---|
| 먹다 | 드시다 |
| 자다 | 주무시다 |
| 있다 | 계시다 |
| 말하다 | 말씀하시다 |
What happens if you get it wrong
Less than you fear. Koreans are broadly forgiving with foreigners, and the assumption is that you are still learning.
The one thing worth avoiding is 반말 with someone older or in a service role. It reads as dismissive rather than as a language error.
And there is a subtler risk in the other direction: consistently using 합니다체 with friends keeps a distance you may not intend. Formality is not neutral in Korean — it actively signals that you are not close.
Hearing the difference
The fastest way to internalise this is to listen to the same characters speak to different people. The level shifts, and once you notice it shifting, you start hearing the relationship as much as the words.
In K-PATTO, Emma uses 해요체 with everyone, Jisu uses 반말 with her, and announcements use 합니다체 — so all three appear in ordinary conversation rather than in a grammar chart. The first ten episodes are free at K-PATTO.